Dear Friend, 

This letter is being sent to you for I know you are critically interested in 
your lawn. The spring season is upon us, the time for action! You have been 
selected at random to join an exclusive fertilizer club. Upon receipt of this 
letter go to the address at the top of the list and shit on the front lawn. 
You will not be the only one there, so don't feel embarrassed.

Then make five copies of this letter, add your name at the bottom of the list 
and send it to five of your friends who appreciate good lawns. 

You will not get any money or checks, but within one week if the chain is 
not broken, there will be 9,225 people shitting on your lawn. Your reward 
will come next spring when you have the greenest lawn in town. 

  Mrs. Harry Butts                      Mr. Smelly B. Hind 
  236 Corn Cob Alley                    476 Diarrhea Way
  
  Mrs. Hadda Crap                       Mr. C. Howie Fartz 
  134 Enema Drive                       295 Fertilizer Way
  
  Mr. and Mrs. Passen Wind              Mr. A. Bigger Movement  
  23 Suppository Lane                   89 Rectum Road.

Sincerely, 

Harry N. Pyles 

P.S. If you are constipated, pass this along to a neighbor, do not break 
the chain, like one man who didn't give a shit and lost his entire lawn.